I just want to say that Dell sucks. Cyber Monday sucks. Capitalism pretty much sucks, except when ice cream is on sale. I am not being paid for this review.
I’m sick of the hype that happens after Thanksgiving every year. I never even leave the house on Black Friday. Hell, I don’t really even get out of my pajamas. (OK, I don’t wear pajamas, but if I did, that’s what I wear on Black Friday.) And no, I don’t shop online either. No offense to those of you who love that shit, but I hate it.
A woman told me the other day she was going to stand in line for hours to get a deal on a 65-inch TV, just like she did last year, because it was such a good price and her TV was all of one year old now. And that she has a 52-inch TV in her bedroom that she watches about three times a year, but it’s (she held out her fingers) about three inches wide and she might as well get two of those 65-inch TVs because they’re only two inches wide. She asked me if I didn’t think it was time to upgrade. I just stared at her. I couldn’t comprehend her logic.
That is my definition of insanity.
And yet … stupid me. I decided I’d buy a new laptop tonight because I need one. So my friend Green Jello found me one at Costco and my son Drake found me one on the Dell website, which is the one I decided to get, because it was faster. But of course when I went to my cart to actually pay for it, it wasn’t available. But they did try to direct me to one that costs $150 more. Thieving bastards.
Fuck you, Dell. I think that might be illegal. Bait and switch. Right? Isn’t that what that’s called? It should be illegal. And try … I dare you, just try to lodge a complaint. Not a chance in hell.
Because they know they suck. So they don’t need to be told. They won’t even let you tell them.
So I’m not getting my Inspiron 15 5000 laptop computer tonight. Nor am I going to get a new Inspiron 14 5000, which was $50 more, because apparently it sold out just seconds before I was going to add it to my cart.
I think it’s a fucking conspiracy. Some fucking billionaires made a ton more billions the past few days, which they will pay zero taxes on, and fuck the rest of us. And now I’m mad because I couldn’t add to their wealth.
What about you? Do you shop Black Friday sales? Cyber Monday? Did you get some good deals and I’m just a loser. You can tell me. I can take it.
But fuck Dell. Who needs their damn computer anyway?
(I do.)
Reticulated Writer 